Something Old Something New

What will happen when American culture meets Chinese culture? In my case, was a twist wedding. I am from China, and my wife is an American. I never thought I would be marrying an American girl in the land of America. I always thought I will marry my girlfriend in China before I came here, but everything was different when I came to the United States. On my very first day in America, I met this girl and she was so beautiful. She stole my heart right the way. At the moment our eyes connected I knew she was the one I will be spending the rest of my life with. Therefore we were getting married. The customs and rituals of a wedding are totally different between China and the United States. A traditional American wedding should have “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.” Chinese weddings, on the other hand, want everything to be new. In comparison, the difference between both countries is the wedding place, the apparel and the ceremony. My parents wanted us to have a traditional Chinese wedding, but because my wife is an American, I knew she wanted to have an American style wedding. As a result, instead having a traditional wedding we had a Chinese American twist wedding.
In a traditional Chinese wedding, people hold their wedding ceremony at their own home. We had our wedding at a church, and we decorated it with ribbons and flowers, just like other Americans. Well, at least like the rest of her family. Meanwhile at home; we did it the Chinese way. We decorated the house with a lot of things that meaning happy, lucky and marriage. We had a big red paper Chinese character “happy” sticking on our wall in every room. In the United States, most people hold their wedding at the church. The reason that the Chinese hold their wedding at their own home is because of tradition and religion. They think their own home is the most sacred place for a wedding because they will live there together for the rest of their life. It is the same for Americans. They hold their wedding in a church because they think marriage is sacred and they want to get married in front of god in the most sacred place.
In the wedding during the ceremony she wore a custom made Vera Wang wedding dress, but at the reception she wore a traditional Chinese wedding dress to respect my parents and me. That was so sweet of her. A traditional Chinese wedding dress is a red phoenix gown. The Chinese bride wears a red phoenix gown because phoenix is the symbol woman, and red is happy and good luck. The American bride wears a white gown because they believe white represents chastity and their divine love.
When it came to the ceremony, we did it in both ways because my parents insisted. We had the traditional American ceremony at the church, and at home we had the Chinese traditional ceremony. It was a lot of work, but we had to because my parents paid for the wedding. In the traditional Chinese wedding, the most important part of the ceremony is that the couples have to worship to gods and ancestors with wine. They also toast to elders. The couple toasts because they follow the tradition, and they want to thank all the people that bless them. The special part of an American wedding is that the couple needs to promise to each other. They are standing in front of a priest. The priest reads the bible and a speech to the couple. After the couple agrees to the priest, then they will kiss each other, and their ceremony is finished
My wife and I both very glad that we had this twist Chinese American wedding, because it was unique. We are the only couple who did it among all the people we know. The most important thing about this wedding is that it satisfied us and both our parents. Although tradition is very important for some people including my parents, but not us. We are not the kind of traditional people. In our heart our wedding was our tradition. Reinvention is the new tradition of the new generation.

Changes, Forget or Learn

                 Imagine life in a big city, and imagine life in a small village. A person who lives in city requires education whereas a person who lives in village requires some skills. Now imagine life in different countries such as China and the United States, two countries with extremely different traditions. China is the country with ancient cultural sphere that can screed back to 2070 BC, and the United States is the World’s famous melting pot which is a combination of different cultural experiences. Since I came to the United States, I have noticed a change in family activity, family relation and religion in my life. 

          

                Chinese and American lifestyles differ in such way that we can spend our family activity. China is a developing country with one point three billion populations. In my opinion, living in China is easier than in the United States, we have many traditional hobbies like drinking morning tea with family which was one of my frank family activities. Despite the fact that, we can drink morning tea here in the United States, its flavor is totally different. When I was young, my family used to take me to the town and drink morning tea, there are the enjoyable moments when you can actually see many people sitting down, eating, chatting and smiling. On the other hand, the American lifestyle is different because most U.S. cities are large and with worldwide economy, life in city is rushed and unstoppable, family members have less time to meet each other.

  

             Another different issue that has changed is family relations. Back in China, family relationship was an important thing, family members will reunite when we have holidays or celebrations. The elders will sit down in the living room talk to each other about their life experiences. On the other hand, female will cook for dinner and younger people will kick around the village. Unfortunately, everything is different here in the United States. We have few family members which are still in touch, because the United States is a place where there exists a huge diversity of cultures. Thus, American lifestyle is accelerated because family members move around the country and live alone.       

               Religion represents another change in my life. All my family members are Buddhist, as well as me. We pray for our gods and dead family members on specific days. Moreover, my mother used to arrange me to pray in front of an altar which means the place where we pray for our dead family members. However, I haven’t done any Buddhist activities since I moved to the United States because there is no Buddhist statue to pray inside my America home. Nonetheless, there is still a tiny connection to my religion, because my mother will set up for a pray due to New Year’s Day to bless my family members for the upcoming year. Although I no longer follow my religion in the United States, it is still inside my heart. It will not be forgotten.

              At the end, Chinese and American have different life styles, family relationships and religions and those are important elements to me. I’m still a follower in some of the old traditional ways mixed with some American styles. I have to keep the old religion in order to earn experiences from both American and Chinese lifestyle. That is what I should do as a Chinese immigration. That is humankind that lives in mother Earth for our own life and dream.

Missing and Reunion

After leaving home for a long time, people will miss their families and relatives. They sit alone and look up at the moon which illuminates dark night. In China, the moon is a symbol that represents missing and reunion. We have a special day to celebrate the moon which is called mid-autumn festival. On that day, family members join together to eat moon cakes, drink tea and admire the full moon. Mid-autumn festival is held on the 15th day of August in the Chinese calendar, and it comes from an old Chinese mythological story. When I was living with my grandparents, I thought mid-autumn festival was just eating moon cakes or chatting, which is so boring to me. However when I ate moon cakes with only my mother last mid-autumn festival, I knew what missing feels like and how lonely we are in this new country.

I still remember that I had my last mid-autumn festival with my grandparents two years ago. At that day, my aunts’ and uncles’ families came to my grandparents' house and my grandmother cooked a big meal for us. Everything she cooked was all traditional Chinese. After eating the meal and cleaning up the dishes, we cut moon cakes into several small pieces and also made a pot of tea, and we were sitting near the window in order to watch the bright and full moon clearly. We were chatting, eating moon cakes and drinking tea at the same time. I felt that it was unforgettable because spending time with my family was the happiest moment in my life. However, my mum and I celebrated mid-autumn festival once again after I came to American, I felt so disappointed. The moon was bright and the night was peaceful. Also my mum cooked a big meal at mid-autumn day, but I didn’t have an appetite to eat. I thought that I missed my grandparents and my cousins. I couldn’t join together with them to have fun and chat. At that time, the moon, which was in my heart was separate and isolate.

My grandparents have many nephews. As is the custom, their nephews gave moon cakes as a present. I nearly ate all moon cakes because my grandparents have diabetes. Can you imagine that moon cakes as your breakfast and snake every day until you finish them up? I tried to bring some moon cakes to my friends, but they complained that they also had a trouble eating so many moon cakes. I thought that was funny, but it was really gave me an upset stomach. Nevertheless, I haven’t had the chance to eat moon cake even once since I left my grandparents’ house. I can’t see that almost my classmates eat moon cake as their breakfast. I can’t hear that the complaints that the cake maker made them so sweat. Also I no longer worry about how those moon cakes made my stomach feel uncomfortable. The memorable time with my family and my friends have already past, but these memories are still staying my heart.

Usually after eating the moon cakes and drinking tea, I would go outside with my friends. As teenagers, we could always do something fun and we had endless topics to talk. We strolled around our school many times laughing and chatting. Enjoying the moon light, we felt we were like a small bird and could fly anywhere. We were free, but we also got together. Things and feelings have changed since I came here. I don’t have close friends to go outside with, and I can’t even text to someone to say happy moon cake day. The only thing I can do is I open my chatting software and receive their blessing. We can chat, but we cannot get together. Now the mid-autumn festival is a lost part in my life, and it makes my heart broken.

What are your gold and your happiest time? We must have so many different answers. My answer is people cannot live without family, and we all have connections with people and society. After living home alone, I actually know what aloneness and missing feel like. I thought that we go to another part of the world that is so far from our homes, our habits or culture will reword us. However, our hart still belong to our family and our hometown. Wherever we go, we cannot forget that our traditional culture because in that day, our heart can get together.

Ramadan

Binta Diallo

September 27/2010

 ESL level 100

Ramadan

            The month of Ramadan is a very important month for all Muslims, because it is a holy period of the year. Every year the calendar month changes for the celebration. This year Ramadan was celebrated in August and next year it will be in July. Some countries celebrate Ramadan with a fast all month, and others celebrate by fasting only part of the month. I’m a Muslim and I celebrated Ramadan. During this month, Muslims, try to purify their souls from all negative acts. We focus on what is holy or pure. During this fasting we ask Allah to forgive us for our sins. Although there are several cultural reasons for each individual to practice Ramadan, there are three social spiritual reasons that are shared among all Muslims.

The first spiritual reason is our devotion to Allah. During the month of Ramadan, they sacrifice most of our pleasurable activities such as listening to music, dancing and even remain distanced from our boyfriends. In the United States it is more difficult to remain distant from our boyfriend because most of us live with them.  In Guinea, we faithfully, read the Qur'an, and prayed at home or we go to the Mosque. But in United States we cannot read the Qur’an at home without being interrupted by someone. For example the place you can read the Qur’an is at the Mosques in Chicago.   As a result, Ramadan has physical, mental and social benefits. Due to the fasting that we perform daily for the thirty days, one can easily lose weight and perhaps get down to or near the desired size. Also, because we must perform the last prayer of the day (Isha’a) at the mosque, we are able to meet with fellow Muslims and enjoy the company of one another. Although these are basic rules that must be followed by all Muslims, certain people in Chicago fail to adhere to these demands.

Another part of holiday that has change in this country is the activities during Ramadan.  There are a lot of activities to do during the month of Ramadan; in some cases it is hard to find the way to practice Ramadan in Chicago. It more challenging for me in here. Because I have of get up early for school. Likewise in Guinea, it is very important practice Ramadan because it is only holy month during a year and our mind is just focused on Ramadan. We plan to visit your relatives, or neighbors and family that you did not see for some time. Allah will bless the person. However, in Chicago it is very difficult to give anybody food because there is not much trust between us has Muslims. Since I came to Chicago I have found very few people who really practice Islam. In   Chicago there a lot people who don’t follow what Allah says including me. The Ramadan fast is for about 29 to 30 days. It is said that during the last ten days of Ramadan, all Muslim people should attend the Tarawith prayer at the Mosque. We just don’t go to the Mosque, because we just don’t want to stay at the mosque all night.  In Muslim countries, they sleep for the last ten days of prayer and ask for blessings from Allah.

The final shared reason is the variety of food during Ramadan. During the month of Ramadan, Muslim families are supposed to cook extra meals for their family, neighbors and relatives to come and eat together. In my experience in Guinea of Ramadan compare to the U.S.A, it is very different and I find it difficult because I do not plan it in advance. Such has important event we need to plan how to get all the necessities for this holy month. Also, in the USA, we break fasts at home instead going to the Mosque with our family. And many people do not attend the mosque regularly in the United States. Therefore, the interaction between Muslim brothers and sisters is limited even during Ramadan. However, in Guinea, we have a very nice atmosphere. And the mood is very different. In Guinea, the entire village gets to together every day for the whole month of Ramadan to break the fast and eat after the prayer. Before the day of Eid, or during the last few days of Ramadan each Muslim family give a donation to the poor. Finally, the day of Eid all the Muslim gather early at the mosque for the prayer and gives gift to the children. In United States, the day of Eid Muslim people don’t exchange gift at the mosque.

In conclusion although there are several cultural reasons for each individual to practice Ramadan, there are three social spiritual reasons that are shared among all Muslims. In my experiences Ramadan fasting for me is not just about disciplining my body to restrain from food and drinking water from predawn until the sunset. It means following what Allah said and asking forgiveness and blessing from Allah. I hope in the future that all my Muslim brothers and sister will gather together.

"Hey, come on, join our party, don't be alone". This is what my best friend said to me in the night of the mid-autumn festival when I was in America. Although my parents are not here that let me felt a litte bit lonely, but I could still celebrate with my friend last year. The mid-autumn festival is on August 15th every year. This holiday is symbol "reunion" in each family. Also you can celebrate with your friend. As a a person in foreign country, several missing in the mid-autumn festival can let me value Chinese culture even thought I live in America.
The atmosphere of mid- autumn festival is an important part of this holiday. In China, when the mid-autumn festival is coming, the atmosphere is as good as new year. If you say The New Year is the most popular holiday that you like, then the mid-autumn festival is the second one that the people like in China. People will prepare some food in their home. When the sunset in that holiday, the sky will be full of stars and the moon is bigger than usual. People will eat their dinner at outside while they are enjoying the beautiful sky. However, the atmosphere in America seems to be nothing happen. Even in Chinatown, when you go on the street, nobody discuss this holiday with people.
Special food can let me know mid- autumn festival coming soon. Before the mid-autumn festival, people start to sell a special food for this holiday and we call the food mooncake. We can only eat mooncake near this holiday. After that we don't have it to sell anymore. Because moncake the symbol of this holiday. If in this holiday
doesn't have mooncake, that doesn't work in this holiday. Even though people sell mooncake in united states , the mooncake is not delicious as in China, it is too normal. If people eat some delicious mooncake in foreign country, they will value this holiday in different way, they will remember mooncake what they eat after this holiday, and remember this holiday too.
Family members contact each other in mid-autumn festival. In this holiday, people should come back at home even though they have to work because this holiday mean reunion in each family. People can watch fireworks in this holiday. Also you can do other activities with their family. I live in America now , and my parents are not here. That why I miss them too much. But my friend said to me that I could talk with my parents on the phone this year. Although I can do that, I am still felling lonely in this holiday while I am in America.
Although I live in America, I never forget the mid-autumn festival as Chinese culture in my life. When my friends said "don't be alone", I laughed to them. Some of my friends might asked me what happen can let me happy. But I didn't tell them. Alone could let people unhappy in any time, so you should go back and celebrate the mid-autumn festival with your family because this holiday mean reunion. This holiday will let you value your family and China culture.

Togetherness

There aren’t any other words beside “I miss you so much” that I can say to my home country, Indonesia every august 17. Since August 17, 1945, Indonesia has Independence Day because we won from against the colonies We always celebrates the Independence Day with tradional and national culture ever year that you may not be able to find in other countries. I liked to celebrate Indonesia’s Independence Day every year with my friends and my families when I lived there. Now, I have lived in the United States for more than one year. I live in Chicago, a city where not many Indonesians live. Since I live in Chicago, I have never celebrated Indonesia independence’s day because it feels difficult to celebrate it in this new city.

In Indonesia, there are flag ceremonies on the Independence Day. Even though Independence Day is a holiday in Indonesia, we need to go to ceremony in the morning. We need to stand up for one hour to hear a speech, sing the national song, see a group that will float the flag, and pray. That is the way we show that we are patriotic. I used to go to the ceremony in my school or in my neighborhood every year when I was there. I was also a member of a group that floats the flag when I was high school. Now, in Chicago, I never heard about the Indonesia’s flag ceremony. I just spent the day like usual day on the Indonesia’s Independence Day. I feel bad about it, but I can’t do anything to celebrate the Independence Day because it’s impossible to do a ceremony by myself.

During the afternoon of the Indonesia Independence Day, it is the time to have fun with our families and neighbor. We usually close the street, like when Americans have block parties, to have competition of our traditional games. We have a lot of traditional games; “makan kerupuk” is one of the games. In this game, the contestants need to eat big chips that hang in the air; it isn’t only fun to play this game, but it is also fun to watch people

who participate it. I have played this game a lot of times, but unluckily I never got a gift because I never even won one game. However, I haven’t done that in Chicago. We need to have a lot of people to do the competition, if there are not many people, it would not be interesting. In fact, I don’t have many Indonesian’s friends in Chicago.

The celebration of Indonesia’s Independence Day doesn’t end just with the traditional games. The first day school after the independence holiday, the students have competition between classes. On this day, the students would closer to their friends, especially their classmates. The games that we played are not traditional games like in the neighborhood competition. We played basketball, volleyball and soccer. I used to play basketball every year to represent my class. I felt so great playing basketball in the middle of my friends. If I won, they were really happy because that meant all of the members in my class won a game; and if I lost, they would yell to give me support. I really miss that togetherness that I haven’t found in the United States. Since I have been studying in the United States, I never heard about basketball competition in my school. Moreover, even though there is a basketball competition, I don’t think I’ll get the togetherness like I had in Indonesia because I already in college now. College life is more individual than high school’s life.

Overall, I really miss the togetherness with my families, friends and neighbors that I had in my home country. I have missed Indonesia’s Independence Day twice since I live in Chicago and I know that I will miss more celebrations because I will live in United States for the next four years. I hope within the four years I can have a lot of Indonesian friends, so I can celebrate it together with them. Otherwise, I need to wait for four more years to can have that great moment again.

Isolated Journey

Moving from one country to another allows myself comprehend how difficult adapting to the United States is. Adapting to a new country, from my personal experience, is like a baby, since you do not know anything about the new world, or place. We, as human beings, have to cooperate with each other, and, that is how we learn. Adapting is not just about accepting people, it is about acknowledging each person that surrounds you and their traditions, language, and the most important, what they teach you.

Adaptation to me into a new country was a challenge. I had a tough time adapting myself to the United States; it was like a technology to an elder person. No matter how hard you play or try to make it work, you will not comprehend its functions. First, I could not intermingle with people, since I did not know the language; second, I did not even have a friend who could help me translate what I needed to say. I realize the language was hard to learn, and thus I still had to learn the culture, or historic background. For example, I did not even understand the language, and still I had to take a Chicago History class.

Learning the pronunciation was a challenge. Adapting my tongue to pronounce the word or letter the right way is like a tongue twister, since I was not used to the change of the letters. I felt like my tongue was fighting with my mouth as I tried to speak. Meanwhile, I learned the language, and I had what they called a Hispanic accent, so I practiced until the Caucasian accent was accurate for my ears. I was so ashamed of the Hispanic accent that I frankly stopped spending time with my Hispanic friends because I wanted to pay more attention how Caucasians pronounced their words. Although I forgot some of my Spanish, it was worth it because now I can manage both of the languages. As an example, now I can communicate with my Hispanic or Latino friends with Spanish, and also use English vocabularies in the sentences, or vice versa.

My pronunciation for people in the United States sounded funny. They thought that my accent sounded like the comedians that made fun of the immigrants, while in Venezuela everybody was amazed how glowingly I could speak Spanish. The tough part was not how they made fun it, the tough part is that I had to hear carefully what people told me, and then translate it to Spanish, so that I could have an answer. Not just that, I had to translate my respond back to English, and attach the grammar, or the word, so I had my concluding answer. The entire procedure was like a chicken trying to explicate itself to a duck.

Adjusting is gold to me. Besides learning the language, the tradition is like fireworks on July fourth stunning as dancing water, and independent as a free bird. Accepting people is all about adjusting to how they are, what they do, and specially feeling the comfort in the interest each person shares. I learned that moving from one country to another is not just about mingling with people; it is about accept the reality and learn how to appreciate the chance that the life gives you.