Enthusiastic or Not

Helen Bian

ESL100

September 25, 2010

Enthusiastic or Not

I visited a friend of my mother in America on August 5, 2010 and it was not a wonderful experience. I had even thought that I was not welcome until my mother told me that is their habit in America ! They were watching TV when we arrived at their house. We said 'hello' to each other, and then we joined them. My mother and her friend had a chat, and the children of my mum's friend took a shower. Finally I was along without anything to do but watch the advertisements on TV. That made me feel treated-coldly for a moment but later I found out that in America the hosts always behave like that. There are many differences between Chinese and American in the way of visiting and hosting.

The guests in the U.S. act differently from what I was accustomed to in China. In China when we visit someone we usually bring some fruit, and sending fruit just represents a wish of health. But during the visiting, guests may not behave very relaxed because we are afraid of bothering the host. However,in America, guests may bring something else like wine, dessert or flowers. The guests don't feel nervous and behave relaxed like they are at home. I think this is influenced by not only the tradition but also the attitude of the host. The action of American guests is more comfortable. However, the habit cannot change easily.

Besides, the treatments that the American hosts and Chinese hosts provide are different. The hosts in China must behave very enthusiastic to make their guests feel welcome. They go to the vestibules to welcome the guests, prepare some fruit and if it is in winter some cups of warm water are needed. To make the guests feel welcome, hosts also need to make sure every guest has something to do like chat or watch TV, and one of the hosts should stay with the guests. This is different from China, American hosts do as they please. They do as usual which may makes the guests feel not bothered the host but make me feel at a loss.

The custom is also different at the end of the visit. Chinese hosts always go to send the guests to the door or even to the bus-stop when the guests are leaving, which shows that they have had a good time. They also tell the guests that they are welcome next time. However, American hosts will not do that. They will give you a big hug and say 'bye bye' then back to do their own things and let you go by yourself. Sometimes this makes me think that I was impolite or not welcome.

There are many differences between China and America regarding visiting and hosting. Sometimes Chinese hosts may be so enthusiastic that makes you feel overwhelmed by their warmth, but most time you will feel treated well and welcome. American hosts are enthusiastic too, but this kind of enthusiasm doesn't perform clearly on the surface. They just let you relax and not be nervous. But if you are not welcome it won't show clearly as well. I think I will get used to this kind of enthusiasm gradually .